|Genre:||Women in Prison|
Other Movies Seen By This Director (1)
- Julie Darling
|09.06.06||Weird Wednesday|| CHAINED HEAT!!! Lars said this is his favorite American WIP movie because it's just so evil. The double feature of Richard Rush before this put all of us in a good mood (even though all the freeloaders in the lobby should've been there 5 hours earlier) so we were all pretty ready for some nasty prison fun. In that regard, Chained Heat delivered in spades.|
This kinda sucks because time constraints are rushing me so I can't just sit here for an hour thinking of all the great bits and pieces of this movie... It was another one of those nights where a circle of us all stood around regurgitating favorite lines and laughing about it (another reason why I love the Alamo and the people who frequent it)... there was plenty to go around. I think the big tone-defining piece of information about this movie is that John Vernon plays the warden with a hot tub in his office and several security cameras set up so he can film himself getting it on with hot naked inmates. Later in the film, he exclaims "I have a whole ROOM full of porno! And they're all of me!" A weird part of me wants to add "porno room" to my dream house on my things-to-do-once-i'm-rich list... or at least a porno nook... just some lurid wallpaper, a stripper pole or pair of handcuffs or something... even if I never actually use said room/nook, I think it would be a nice addition to the home. Sipping coffee in the porno nook every morning or something like that.
So most of the girls are 80s-hot. Linda Blair is in this and shows her chesties. Every character seems to be in a contest for a most-vile-prisoner award... but the guards win hands down. This redhead with the uncanny ability to match blood DNA on nightsticks just by looking at it... I think she may be the worst. Not only does she take pleasure in watching a male guard (one of like 3 men in the entire movie) rape an inmate, she also has no problem with drowning, beating, kicking, choking, and bludgenoning anyone who needs it.
The other highlight for me is Henry Silva, who plays... I'm not exactly sure. I think he's either a doctor or the assistant to the doctor or something... anyway, he's a drug dealer and pimp and man, talk about happy-go-lucky. Nothing seems to phase him. It's like he maybe thought this was an early 80s WIP teen comedy instead of the dark trenchcoat fantasy that it is... he's full of witty little comebacks and sayings, always has this weird Silva-esque grin on his face, and supplies most of the comic relief to the picture. Even when he's just answerng simple questions he... it's almost like he deliberately hams it up ("llllllllove it!!!")... my favorite line of his is when he wants to flee from murder charges, saying "you know what the Chinese say... Chow!" He goes to drive off until a random cop points her gun at his face through the driver's side window. Silva actually rolls down the window before looking at her... ahh man, that's a MAN right there.
So this was plenty of fun, even though it's still hard for me to believe that this genre exists... it's such a perverse dark fantasy of an idea... that it thrived makes me feel dirty for humanity.
And now I have to clean my apartment because my parents are in town this weekend. So if you notice that I am not watching movies, it's probably because I am feeding them good Austin food instead.