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|11.08.06||Weird Wednesday|| It made me sad to miss The Glove last week so I made a specific point to make it out tonight before a week of northern virginia basement-cleaning and free food.|
This is... well... This has some truly phenomenally bad acting in it. Like, it's marvelous how bad a few of these actors are. One scene in particular, right at the end... here's the exchange:
-Do you still need housecalls? I may need a doctor tonight.
-That's one call I'll make for free.
Now, Imagine the lines are written in Araimic and the actors read them as they translated each word in their head into English. I'd say that's a good estimation of how bad the readings were. So great. That nurse in particular... oh man. She was so painfully pleasant to watch struggle through each word. It doesn't hurt that she's in a movie where, when extremely distraught, she runs into the ocean while stripping off her uniform. huh? It's best not to question things like this... just go with it.
All of the nurses were pretty bad, and most of them had incredibly idiotic little arcs or subplots leading them toward the end of the movie. They were great though... like this one guy hurt his shoulder so the nurse thinks it's dangerous for him to enter the sailing regada with his shoulder blade, but the guy's dad insists and tries to rape her or something. Now, I don't know anything about sailing really, but it seems like most of it's just sitting there while the wind does the work. Sure, every once in a while you have to pull some ropes and duck while the thingy goes to the other side. But if John Candy can do it, how physically strenuous can it be? So his dad guilts him into leaving the hospital even with a cut on his shoulder but the nurse gets on his boat and cons him into racing with her instead of his dad. When his dad, who's been flirting with some random girl on the dock, sees his son casting off without him, he yells "YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE!!!" over and over again... so awesome. My favorite line comes out of this nurse's mouth (poorly), after the hurt-shoulder hunk accuses her of stepping out with his dad she tells him "I wouldn't see your dad if... he was my own dad." Huh? Does that mean what I think it... aww never mind. Better leave that one alone.
Although she doesn't say my favorite line, the best nurse has to be the black one. Somehow, in the midst of all this sex and hurt shoulders and whatnot, she gets wrapped up in this experimental drug overdose murder case. I'll go ahead and spoil it for everyone by saying the bad guy was none other than Sam Fuller, who I guess plays an old doctor slash elderly... helper... who has a whole medicare scam going on with the old people he's helping while also... maybe... selling this experimental dangerous drug (did i mention it causes aphrodesia followed by hallucinations followed by coma followed by death? well it does) at marked-up prices to the old people... All I really know is he had a suitcase with money in it and some black guy who was either helping him or trying to kill him found out he's been hiding it on some random piece of Baja land. on a boat. Anyway... this black nurse spends most of her screen time tooling around on her motorcycle. it's great. A deaf guy writes that she's one heck of a good looking girl. awwwwww.
There's also a random mini-story about a candy striper having sex with a patient. and maybe another plot going on that I've already forgotten.
So many scenes in this movie make absolutely no sense... but they're fun unlike Radio On... and, maybe it's just because I like 70s funk soundtracks, it seems like every piece of crap movie made back in those days had an awesomely groovy soundtrack. So while all this stuff is happening there's wild sax or flute solos or kickin drum rhythms driving everything and making it an enjoyable experience to watch, even if the script is horrible and the acting is worse and everything about it pretty much sucks. It sucks in a good way.