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|03.15.07||Alamo South Lamar|| animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles movie as an AICN event with all-you-can-eat pizza. I basically went because I heard the SXSW movies playing that slot were all crap.|
It's very much a children's movie. Characters pretty much say exactly what's on their minds at all times and the message is extremely clear.
A few things bug me even in children's movie logic. Part of the story involves 13 monsters set free a long time ago that these huge stone dudes are trying to wrangle up to break some curse or something. So, if you're not going to really deal with any of these monsters very much and not even show some of them, why have so many? Also, it seems they all hang out in NYC, apparently unnoticed all these years. Neil sitting next to me had a great idea how they could've been all the mythical creatures like Nessie and the Abominable Snowman and stuff but nope, they're all just generic-looking monsters that are easily found.
My other point is... ok, my favorite turtle has always been Donatello. He was smart, he made awesome gadgets, and he still kicked ass with the Bo staff, which gave him the longest reach in the video games. My second favorite was Leonardo but it always bugged me how he had two swords and did the same amount of damage as everyone else. Come on, man! you have swords! swords are sharp! Swords cut things! A Sword beats pretty much everything but a sai. Which leads me to my least favorite turtle Raphael. Sure he's gotta be different with a non o-ending name and all but... sais? they're defensive weapons! They're barelly offensive at all... even if you use them to pierce, those flared handles only make the center spike an inch or two long. SO unless you're fighting a guy with a sword, they just look cool on your belt. SO! this movie has to make Raphael the star. He's really the only one who gets any character development at all, the only one who shows a little bit of balls, the only one in the foreground more than 5 times, and they even made him like three times as muscular! What is THAT shit about???
otherwise... it looked pretty. it should've been in 3D. The action was pretty cool but it's so dumb... definitely a kid's movie that I can't see working on any kind of emotional level for anyone older than 8.