Other Movies Seen By This Director (0)
|06.14.07||Friend's House|| Another night of Fantastic Fest screeners at Tim's house. While I enjoy the rare occasion to meet with friends outside of the Alamo (even if it is to watch movies in Tim's attic instead), the charm of watching these screeners is quickly wearing thin for me. I suppose it's good because I'll have already seen the movies that we watch that eventually make it to the festival, but it means having to sit through a lot of the rejects as well.|
Uncle's Paradise is a Japanese pink film where this dude gets hard-ons and constantly falls asleep so he has problems with masturbation and has to seduce lots of women to keep from... I don't know. It seemed to me like 60% of this movie was sex scenes involving one actress and three maybe four different guys. One sex scene would end and another would start. Then there were pockets of crazy story that I guess made the movie memorable enough to program. There's one funny scene where a guy dies from a huge spider on his back, and another where (spoiler!) the uncle dies after shooting his load on a snake and having it bite him (i guess the snake isn't a fan of bukkake). Then the nephew or whatever goes to hell to rescue him but gets caught in an eternal blowjob by bloody bitches in heat and the slut girl who's fucking everyone has to win at rock paper sissors to get them back. Somehow giant squid is randomly involved and after they rescue him Uncle writes "thanks for getting me out of hell" on a random bottle that makes for a pretty funny lost-in-subtitles joke. Let's see, Uncle also had this awesome habit of writing his name on the women he screwed, which made their boyfriends or fathers mad when they saw it.
But like I said, I think there's maybe 45 minutes of softcore sex scenes here in this 65 minute film.
Yet it was the best movie we (tried to) watch. We gave the following about a half hour each:
-Death Note, about a guy who has a book (conveniently titled "Death Note" on the cover) where all he has to do is write your name down and you die. So he watches the news and "hacks into secret police files" to see who's escaped justice and writes their names down... This was the funniest movie of the night but since we were laughing at pretty much everything about it, we turned it off.
-Small Town Folk: Um... I think maybe people are lost and ask directions and Warick Davis gets on somebody's back and tells them to keep going down the road. To be honest I've succeeded in erasing most of this from my mind already and had a hard time even remembering that we saw part of this so I'm not sure we ever got to a point where we knew what was going on with the movie because every frame was so achingly bad.
-Babysitter Wanted? Something about a babysitter. At first it seemed very Christian-funded since it was about a Catholic going off to college and her roomate is a pot-smoking pierced and tattoo'd slut type with a Deathcab for Cutie poster on her wall. But then she takes a job babysitting and she's maybe being stalked. That's pretty much all that happened in the first half hour or so. we were very bored. we skipped ahead to find out the (gasp!) twist then turned it off.
-The Last Gateway: This dude has a gateway to hell in his belly. Notable for being an English-language film made by Argentinians. Some humorously bad dubbing for the actors with too strong accents but the story was all over the place with flashbacks and I never really cared enough about anything to wonder why some people wanted gateway-belly and what the person who was helping him wanted to do with his belly. they might've kept watching but it was time to leave for Terror Thursday so we bailed out.