|07.02.07||Cinemark Pflugerville|| Ahhh, Transformers. What am I gonna do with you... I didn't really have any expectations except from what I'd heard about how bad an early draft was and a faith that Bay could deliver awesome robot on robot violence. My whole Transformers nostalgia bubble popped last year when I watched the first movie again... I guess I went into this more out of curiosity than anything. My hope was that it alternated between awesome action scenes and so-bad-its-good connective tissue. Not exactly first-in-line excitement.|
This would have been a really good movie if I was retarded. I HATE feeling insulted and hate even more the argument of summer movies supposed to not make sense and hate way even more that the crowd around me liked it. I try not to feel superior to the people around me but god damn that theater was filled with imbeciles. "He's a truck!" "That's Megatron!" "he's a jet!" I guess everyone took some time off their doctorate studies to take this one in. This movie was made for 6-month olds who are captivated by flashing colors and loud noises and nothing else is needed. It's like the writers (assuming what I saw was actually their idea) held in their minds the target, the best possible thing this movie could be, was a carbon copy of ID4. I just don't get it. They're not even ripping off good movies anymore. Who thinks the "uploading virus" scene in ID4 is good enough to recreate? I think they might have been intentionally going for a so-bad-its-good movie (which is ridiculous) but failed. It's a retarded mess.
And the action scenes? the saving grace of giant robots beating the crap out of each other and destroying cities? They might be cool if you could tell what the hell's going on. It's a real shame that a movie this huge has to be made for TV. Of course I mean the rating as well but mostly I mean the way it's shot. I miss long shots and masters... I really do. Maybe I'll be able to tell what's going on when I illegally download the DVDrip and watch parts of it on my computer monitor when it's just a rectangle on the screen, but this movie should've been a theatrical experience and I felt like seeing it on a big screen was a disadvantage. So many cool visuals were wasted by "intense" camera placement that the action wound up boring me. I got tired of seeing nondescript gray parts shifting and and blurring in extreme close-up. You know what'd be nice? It'd be nice to see a car transform into a robot without the camera going through its armpit or under its legs. You've got this cool-ass robot on the screen that we've paid to see, just let us see it! fuck!
whatever. i'm over it.