|Title:||The Eiger Sanction|
|07.08.07||Netflix|| Clint Eastwood plays a retired hitman turned art professor(!) named Dr. Hemlock(!!)forced back into working for an ex-nazi albino spy mastermind allergic to light and cold named Mr. Dragon(!!!) to avenge his friend's death by climbing a mountain (!!!!) after being seduced by a stewardess named Jemima Brown (!!!!!). And then there's George MFin Kennedy as Eastwood's Monument Valley-living beer-swilling redneck climbing buddy (!x1000), although now he's become an "impressario, at least that's what they call me. That ain't dirty, is it?"|
Sound like fun yet? add in some lines like "Here's to the selfish killer and the patriotic whore" and "I knew there'd be death," a constant stream of redskin racial slurs during the training sequences, throw in a pinch of leg-humping by a dog named Faggot, and you've got yourself a stew going on.
Alas, the whole movie is not as crazy as it sounds. It is pretty cool though. It's like 45 minutes of spy movie, 45 minutes of training montage then 45 of mountain cllimbing movie. Eastwood's pretty badass in all three but, once again, I found myself enjoying Kennedy most. He was just on fire in the 70s!