Other Movies Seen By This Director (0)
|09.25.07||Alamo South Lamar||This Screening is part of event: FantasticFest 2007|
So I'd heard very... interesting things about this movie. Trusted Alamo sources really enjoyed it so I thought I'd make it a full day and catch it.
Side note: The alamo's breakfast menu... it's neat that it exists and all but one of my favorite items isn't on there and totally should be: you can get a bagel with cream cheese... and you can get a fried egg on your BLT... so why is there no bacon, egg & cheese bagel! Well, this particular day, I asked one of the fine waiters what was up with that and he completely hooked me up, ringing it up as a BLT but subbing the bread for a bagel and replacing the L and T with Egg and Cheese. It came out perfect and hit the spot better than anything ever hit a spot before. I don't know if my awesome waiter guy wasn't supposed to do that or what but if this sounds good to you, try asking for it and who knows, maybe it will get on the menu (as it should be!).
Anyway, the movie. A group of people apparently rob a bank and go up to the snowy mountains to hide out while some dude changes their car somehow (the only thing i picked up was "he's even changing the tires!"). So instead of staying at this mountain mechanic's little house, they trek to some cave where there's a one-person elevator leading down to a "safe room in the old mine" where they can sleep and eat canned food. Only, the first guy goes down and only his hand comes back up.
OK... There's this movie called Mom and Dad Save the World and one of the running jokes is that everyone on the alien planet is incredibly dumb so simple Earthlings (in the form of Teri Garr and Jeffrey Jones) are the smartest people on the planet. One of the best manifestations of this joke is a grenade that they use. The guy says it's incredibly dangerous and should be handled with upmost care. Anyone that picks it up gets completely obliterated. Jones asks why anyone in their right mind would pick this thing up? and you see the grenade and "Pick Me Up"s written on it. So of course, when the bad guys get there they carefully approach the grenade then the first guy picks it up and blammo! he disintegrates. The second guy slowly approaches, looks at the first guy's smoking pile of clothes, sees the grenade, reads it, and picks it up. The third guy sees the second guy disintegrate and calls for backup before slowly proceeding on. I've probably explained all of the funny out of that joke but whatever.
The main plot os this movie IS that gag. One by one people go down in the one-person elevator and one by one they die. It's awesome. Aside from the fact that they're all bad Italian actors with either amazingly-bad dubbing or thick thick accents, their characters are incredibly stupid. It's really great. Really.
Then there's the cops who are looking for a rabid dog!???!? Completely unrelated for like 98% of the movie, this squad of cops led by this girl who is at the top of her game "scan the zone in quadrants" looking for the rabid beast who has rabies. In what is probably the funniest scene in the movie (for me anyway), she comes across several pools of blood in the white snow and as she's walking through it she finds a crossbow. She picks it up, says "Someone dropped an expensive weapons," hands it to a deputy and tells him to "take this back to the office lost and found box." Now THAT's policework. Incredible! It actually took me a few seconds to realize how amazing that was and I laughed for... a long time afterward. It's one of those ideas so absurd that it hits you in waves. Even after the movie was over I still reeled from it, thinking about her finding bullet casings next to a dead body riddled with holes and telling someone to clean up that mess lest someone trip.
So I really had a great time watching this movie. Plus I got a copy of Lady Terminator thanks to Mondo Macabro which fits perfectly with this vibe. Great stuff. hilarious.
And one final site-related note. It occurred to me a couple days ago that I haven't gotten any comments recently so I checked the form and found that something had broken. It's fixed now but on the offchance that there are readers who sent me an awesome comment in the past few weeks (before yesterday), I didn't get it. Sorry. Resend or hate me forever; the choice is yours!