my Movie

Movie Details

Title:   The Backwoods
Director:   Koldo Serra
Year:   2006
Genre:   Horror
Times Seen:   1
Last Seen:   09.25.07

Other Movies Seen By This Director (0)

Notes History
Date Viewed Venue Note
09.25.07Alamo South LamarThis Screening is part of event: FantasticFest 2007
For Midnight I opted to see this Spanish movie starring Gary Oldman and Paddy Considine (as well as a REALLY hot girl and a still-hot-but-nowhere-near-as-much-as-the-other-one girl who both get briefly full-frontal. Pretty much everyone who saw it the first night said it was good so I was prepared to like it.

Eh, this is another case where everyone around me liked it more than I did.

OK get this, Oldman and Considine are walking around in the woods going back to their isolated house after a day of hunting when they come upon another house. Oldman immediately says it looks abandoned and I guess it is run down and there's no car in the garage but his house looks run down too so... ok whatever. Then he sees that the front door is locked and chained and proceeds to KICK IT IN. Huh? Hey, abandoned house. TIME TO LOOT.

So after he looks around inside the house with his gun drawn like he's a complete house burglar, he notices that there's another locked door and he can hear movement behind it. So he breaks into that one too and finds a girl with webbed feet who's dirty and looks like she's fed from a dog bowl. So they take her home with them and clean her up. Assuming Oldman's character's a dick who likes home invasions, I guess I can buy that he's doing the right thing in rescuing this girl from neglect or whatever (even though she would totally be dead if someone wasn't keeping tabs on her). So the next morning, a bunch of rough dudes from the nearby village knock on the door asking if he's seen a little girl and he says no. At this point it's kidnapping right?

I dunno. I found the movie to be well-made technically speaking and although it was slow I had no problem staying awake and watching it, but I had a few problems with it, mainly that I didn't like any of the main characters from the get-go and spent the entire movie waiting for them all to die (and not all of them did, not even close). Oldman's a looting asshole who kidnapps and lies to his neighbors, Considine's a passive wimp who never becomes a man even when he starts killing people, the one girl whines the entire time and almost cancels out being so hot (almost), the other girl does absolutely nothing, yet the whole movie follows these people just so there can be a "twist" at the end where you're supposed to feel for the girl's dad (which I did anyway because I guess I value respect for other peoples' property over child abuse... I guess that's my problem).

This also suffers from the guys doing things I would never do in that situation. If I'm walking along in the woods in a Country I'm not too familiar with on new land that I've just bought and haven't spent much time on and I see a house off in the distance, I might go up and knock, I might get a little closer to see if anyone's home, I'd probably turn around and keep walking. If I did go kick the door down, find the girl, and feel a need to get to the police, I'd drive at a reasonable speed and keep my eye on the road no matter how much the people in the car with me bicker amongst themselves. After all, there may be a felled tree in the middle of the road so I may have to stop suddenly. Because way out in the wilderness like this, if my car breaks down I'm pretty much screwed, right? So I'd think about that before I barrelled down the road at night not looking where I was going. Right?

I guess that's just me. Maybe these problems are too small to be deemed worthy and I'm wrong for not loving this. I still think it was OK, just nothing special.
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