|Title:||A Letter from Death Row|
|Director:||Marvin Baker, Bret Michaels|
Other Movies Seen By This Director (0)
|10.28.07||Netflix|| So... Something you may not know about me is that I watched Rock of Love this summer and loved every second of it (until the reunion show). But, like everyone that watched the show, ever week drew a growing frustration with Michaels' hair. Always with that damn bandana and every week with different feathery doll-hair ribbons hanging down on his neck like drapes. It certainly looked fake and moreso, if he isn't bald why not go without the bandana? like at least once? So a buddy of mine told me a few stories on working with Michaels for a music video and how he is indeed balding and apparently you can tell in one of the crappy movies he was in.|
Hence me renting this. Another friend of mine swears that VH1 did an Internet sweep to clear away any and all images of Bret that might make him look bald once his show became a hit. Apparently there are a few google images that are no longer there and a few references that have mysteriously been deleted. This wasn't helped by the fact that my first copy of this movie arrived in the mail cracked in half: the conspiracy continued.
Well I've finally seen it now. It's a horrible horrible movie and I don't recommend to anyone that they watch it, not even just sitting through it while you play solitaire like I did. Michaels always appears with a bandana in this too except for one scene where he's completely shaven bald and there's really only one shot where you see the top of his head and thanks to the shot-on-video quality you can never quite tell where the shiny no-hair-there-anymore areas stop and the stubbly just-shaved-this parts begin. If I had to guess it looks like he has deep pockets of receding hair (a la Woody Harrelson) but there's one shot where his hair's wet and he's being prison raped in the form of the warden cutting off his hair in the shower where you definitely see what looks like hairs on the base of the back of his head. Of course the real hair is lost in a confusing mash of bandana and hands and sissors but we now definitely know that he's no alopecia bald. he has something. Through the rest fo the movie he sports varying lengths of brown hair to show him growing the shaved hair back so all of that's obviously a wig so the hair he does have must be pretty short.
But what exactly does he have? Who Knows. There's one other shot of interest in this otherwise waste of a film. In it Michaels jumps from a second story window into a swimming pool in an effort to evade the cops after being framed for murder. He's wearing a face mask that's been pulled up to cover his head and when he jumps, what does he do? He holds onto the face mask with both hands. Now if that isn't a wig-wearer's instinct I don't know what is. You've just jumped off a second story heading for a swimming pool, flying through the air immortalized forever on film (well, video). Do you wave your arms wildly like a man on the run (acting!) or go to cover your face if you're a scaredy-cat or spread them wide to maximize your surface area to make sure you don't sink too low? No, you make sure your hair doesn't come off in the wind. Because you wear a wig. Because you're bald.