Other Movies Seen By This Director (1)
- Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
|09.25.09||Alamo South Lamar||This Screening is part of event: FantasticFest 2009|
So, I guess when I added this to my calendar, My eyes saw David Hess, Herschel Gordon Lewis, and Sasha Grey but somehow missed Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Probably should have noticed that.
Hess plays a director who makes crappy movies that decides to use a stripper he accidentally kills in a car accident as a prop in his new movie. Everyone says how good it looks so he keeps killing to finish his "masterpiece."
Hmmm... OK I didn't like this. Not sure how much detail I need to go into to beat the horse though because this movie borders on a weird cult underground status that apparently people who liked Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter "get" and people like me don't get. Maybe it's supposed to be hokey and over-acted and cheap and hard to watch. Maybe that's what the kids like.
The biggest problem for me was the music. It was wall-to-wall and loud and might sound ok as a house band for some bar but didn't make sense to the movie and was mixed way too loud and was also pretty repetitive. Maybe the music was an effort to hide other weakenesses of the film but it ended up causing a huge one. I feel like movies with music like that just aren't real. I mean, I did the same thing with my highschool psychology film that I made in 11th grade. You don't see me submitting that to festivals, do you? (say no). Turn the music off.
Afterward there was a Q&A for the people who had stuck through the movie. My favorite part came when David Hess (who was sitting on the little stage literally right in front of a chair) mocked the director's laughter. They had a poster that they had forgotten to sign but said they would for anyone who could answer their trivia question. They asked what Ruggerio Deodato movie David Hess starred in and this was funny to me because a) I knew the answer (House on the Edge of the Park) but b) i didn't want the poster. Now, why didn't I want the poster? Well for starters, I didn't like the movie much so I didn't want to misrepresent by having some poster for some movie I didn't like just because it's signed by David Hess and the director of another movie I didn't like, Second, I didn't have a sharpee and could see a severely awkward moment of me standing in front of these two guys saying "I don't have a sharpee, do you?" back and forth forever, but lastly and most importantly, my memory of David Hess IN The House on the Edge of the Park is so evil and visceral that it's still ingrained into my brain and quite honestly I didn't want to get too close to the guy. I'm sure he's nice and all but... he was kind of creeping me out. So... great acting, Mr. Hess!
After that I checked out the Highball party long enough to see the Robo-geisha girl hang from a stripper pole, meet a drunken member of the press, and hear some amazingly awful karaoke before getting in my car and heading home.
Actors are cattle
They do what you tell them and
they bleed out real nice