Other Movies Seen By This Director (1)
|09.26.10||Alamo South Lamar||This Screening is part of event: FantasticFest 2010|
Ok so I'll be honest. I feel like during FantasticFest 2 they deliberately played the first Hatchet in the smallest theater just to say they had a sold out screening that were standing in the aisles to get to see it and all that. I remember Harry's "review" that year and thinking it was utter bullshit and that the movie was ok but certainly nothing special. I felt that Severance was way better that year, but anyway.
Then I didn't see any other Adam Green films but heard they were boring to bad. I did see a few shorts that I didn't like.
Still though... Wrong Turn 2, man! I loved Wrong Turn 2 and sometimes quick sequels work way better than originals!
So They added a second screen to this show due to demand but again, i was routed into the smallest theater in South Lamar, running the film to simultaneously project to the middle-sized theater next door. And Green comes in and tells us that people told him not to go back to horro because he was a real filmmaker now but he loves it so he did it but really he did it as a reward to his fans so this movie is really for us and by the way it's the kind of movie that is better if the audience gets into it so he'll be walking back and forth between theaters to see which one is louder. There were like 15 warning signs in his intro for me. So I took a deep breath and realized that I was now probably set up to not like this movie so I should just try to be open and take it in.
It didn't really work. I remember being really impressed that the swamp in the first Hatchet was all filmed in a studio and thought that Joel guy did a good job of basically carrying the story between the kills (which were decent). In this one, somehow the swamp looks a lot worse and the story relies on... well ok the main girl is decent i guess but her uncle... I don't think he's an actor I think he's a friend who found himself in a movie or something. And Tony Todd's weird face and voice falls flat when he has to spend like a half hour covering all the exposition for both movies (because of an extended origin story and the set-up for the second movie). I Like AJ Bowen and thought he did a great job with The Signal and was really solid in a short I saw several years ago called Maidenhead and I'm glad that he's getting work but he has nothing to work with here and seems to make some weird choices. I don't know why but it looks like he's wearing a fake beard for some reason. He's not stand-out bad in this though because everyone else seems similarly lost.
Anyway, so I know I'm not supposed to care about the writing or acting or any of that because the kills are great, right? Ugh. I get it, you mixed up a lot of fake blood. That doesn't explain why this supernatural dude who nobody's seen for decades has a gas-powered belt-sander. I just didn't go for any of it and some of the kills kind of insulted me. I guess I wasn't with it at all because some people in the audience hooted and hollered right on cue whenever a gallon of fake blood was tossed onto a wall; I looked around and feel like others were more like me but I can't be sure. Maybe I just didn't "get" this movie.
30 Days of Night 2 was pretty terrible and boring, but at least it was a real movie. It had a beginning, middle, and end. Here's how the plot of Hatchet 2 goes.
girl: Quick! I need to go back to the swamp!
Tony Todd: Ok, but we have to wait until 5.
Tony Todd: talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
girl: it's 5! We're now surrounded by fodder with weak side stories, can we go now!?
Tony Todd: ok.
-they go to the swamp-
-they kill the bad guy-
The only thing to really think about during the whole movie is why they have to wait until 5 to leave. Aside from the obvious reason (running time), here's what i came up with while watching cheap make-up effects and tired death scenarios.
-hatchet dude had to get more gas/oil mixture for his ancient power tools that he stores in the swamp
-the one actor had to talk himself into believing that his twin brother was in fact alive despite everything in the entire world (except Tony Todd) telling him otherwise
-Tony Todd had to take his elaborate morning "eye clown" make-up off.
-Danielle Harris had to go baby Gap for replacement wardrobe
-the uncle had to try and memorize his lines
-the pompous self-important director had to find a way to put himself vomiting in the first scene of the movie.
So for as much as I hated this movie, Green said something in the end Q&A about whether you like his work or not you have to respect that he, the son of a janitor or something like that, had the determination to get out there and make a movie. That's admirable I guess...