my Movie

Movie Details

Title:   Texas Chainsaw 3D
Director:   John Luessenhop
Year:   2013
Genre:   Horror
Times Seen:   1
Last Seen:   03.29.14

Other Movies Seen By This Director (0)

Notes History
Date Viewed Venue Note
03.29.14NetflixThis Screening is part of event: The Texas Chainsaw Marathon
Well I guess I wrote too soon. All I could think about while watching this is that I had JUST wrote that these are not typical slasher movies and they're all closer to remakes than sequels and here we go with a movie that starts AT the end of the original and follows the slasher template very closely (since the crazy family has become just Leatherface alone and killing teens for no reason). Well at least it's something different from the previous four films.

The beginning scene went a long way with me. Because of it I found myself willing to forgive all the cheap looking digital gore and the shots where you can see the chain not moving on the saw while he weilds it and the inexplicable reason why the girl refuses to button her shirt up. In fact, I quite liked the twist on the story and making Leatherface more sympathetic. I kind of feel like if the girl was a different type and could pull it off, there's a great ending here where she not only accepts her heritage but also embraces it and starts a new family there. I guess that's sort of what happened with the scene after the credits but you never see her not skittish around her cousin and I just don't buy her doing much other than acting hot and showing off her skinny waist.

Also... a lot of it is not great. Not terrible I guess? but not great. For as non-bloody the original was, this was awash in Karo. It did feel a lot like someone's take on putting Leatherface into a Friday the 13th or something. It's funny that didn't happen until now...

So it's an interesting - if not entirely successful - ending to this marathon for me. I did like this one a whole lot more than the previous two, even though I kind of wish they hadn't flash forwarded and set the whole movie in 74 and dealt with the direct aftermath more. I was really taken with that intro. Anyway, I have one more epilogue to this celebration in store: an hour-long Blue Underground special feature checking in with everyone circa 2000 or so. Since I don't think I'm counting what's probably a DVD special feature as an entry here, I'm going to watch that (and perhaps listen to the commentary on the original disc) and update this note with some final... notes.


The Blue Underground doc was interesting. A lot of the stories and even some quotes show up in Hansen's book, but it's always nice to see the faces as they speak. It also gave a glimpse of how compromised all the sequels were. It's worth watching.

So... final thoughts. The original really does deserve all the credit it gets. The sequels are all kind of rough. But you know... compared to the Nightmare or Friday sequels I'm not sure they're THAT rough. And what I found to be interesting is that, for the most part, the sequels are far enough apart that each one reflects the changing landscape of horror, from indie 70s to excess 80s to tucked pant-legs early 90s to cyborg-fixated mid-90s to music video early 2000s all the way to a post-Avatar 3D.

In the end after all is said and done, this is how I'd rank em:
-Part 1
-Part 3
-Part 2
-Part 4
-2003 Remake
-The Beginning

Wow they are almost in order! I wonder if that means anything...

And now just for fun, let's throw some awards out:

Best Leatherface: Gunnar Hansen. No contest. Everyone else seems to be either imitating Gunnar or acting like a professional wrestler trying to sprint.

Best Gag: The working chainsaw through Leatherface's belly in Part 2. Sure it was kind of obvious that there were two saws, but both chains were moving and his prostetic belly was gross and huge. It was awesome.

Best dig during the opening narration: Next Generation. "Regrettably not one of the family members was ever apprehended and for more than ten years nothing further was heard. Then, over the next several years at least two minor, yet apparently related incidents, were reported." Ouch! Sick burn...

Gooiest bodies: Part 3. The adipoosal or whatever that word is... KNB did some awesome work in that intro with the level 5 biohazard suits pulling up fake heads out of snot and semen. Completely gross.

Best throwback crew connection: It's a tie between Daniel Pearl shooting the 2003 remake and Wayne Bell doing the music for Next Generation. It's a shame that awesome beginning camera flash sound effect was never used as effectively as in the first film. The last four all brought it back in some fashion but they repeated the same sound over and over again like it was sampled from the original. What made the first one so cool was that the sound changed each time you heard it. Sometimes it crunched closed and sometimes it tapered off and the flashbulb glances at the gooey corpses were cut together to match those awesome eerie sounds.

Biggest Dick: Barry from Next Generation. Thinking back I think he's my favorite part of the movie.

Biggest Douche: Ryan from Part 3. Ugh just shut up and stop shining your glasses at me.

Biggest Badass: Benny from Part 3. Not even Leatherface can take out Ken Foree. The only male to survive any of the films... thanks to his weekend warrior training and... all that practice killing zombies I guess.

Biggest Trooper: Marilyn Burns from the original. All the other actresses had to get dirty and cry for a few hours. Marilyn was actually bludgeoned and cut and put through hours or physical and emotional torture, and she STILL came back for two cameos later in the series. Most of the other girls got bras too.

Craziest family member: Tough one. I would say McConaughey but I think he just liked to throw around his girlfriend. Instead I think I'm going with Ed Neal for his hitchhiker in the original. His performance in the van set the bar for everyone else in the entire series. Sorry Viggo, painted fingernails ain't gonna cut it.

Cyber-est Leg: McConaughey in Next Generation. Seriously what the fuck?

This was really fun. If anyone read this, thanks for making it to the end!
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