Movie Details
| Title: | Pieces | |
| Director: | J. Piquer Simon | |
| Year: | 1982 | |
| Genre: | Slasher | |
| Times Seen: | 1 | |
| Last Seen: | 03.02.06 |
Other Movies Seen By This Director (0)
| Date Viewed | Venue | Note |
| 03.02.06 | Terror Thursday | the poster says "Pieces: it's exactly what you think it is." That, coupled with Lars' observation that the movie is a massive collection of little touches of memorably bad moments, pretty much sums up my thoughts on this phenominally bad movie. One of the major sources of laughter comes from the ADR, with tons of little non sequiters and dialogue quirks clearly put in just to fit the acting or to keep some semblance of plot wheezing and chugging along. It's also very quick with lots of people talking over one another... it makes you realize how amazing the english dubs on Leone's movies are. All of the characters seem like archetypes cut out by idiots. Lynda Day George seems to straddle two, playing the tennis pro love interest and a cop to boot. We also have the dean of the college, the burly creepy-looking red herring greensman or whatever he is, the getting-too-old-for-this cop, and the slick trenchcoat-wearing detective. They're all just sort of hanging out on this college campus while someone hacks pretty girls to pieces with a chainsaw. get it? Pieces. In the beginning of the film, we see a kid get slapped by his mother for putting together a nudie jigsaw puzzle. The kid gets an axe and chops her up. into pieces. just like the puzzle. PIECES. It's actually quite funny though, the movie keeps going back to the nudie puzzle as the killer puts more and more pieces in as he kills more and more victims. See, he's taking pieces from each victim... almost as if they are pieces of some human puzzle. The problem is, in order to remain anonymous and gender-nonspecific for the camera, the killer has to wear heavy rubber gloves while he puts this puzzle together. I don't know the last time you tried to put a jigsaw puzzle together wearing heavy rubber gloves, but this movie is proof that it's not easy. The camera lingers for what seemed like 45 minutes at one point while the gloved killer's hand tries to pound the nudie girl's elbow-piece in place. Compared to that, lopping off limbs with the saw is a piece of cake! the movie's filled with so many of these humorous little oddities that I can't seem to remember any of them right now. The only thing that's coming to mind is the ending. See, at the end, this college student/casanova type/wannabe cop (i guess) finally fends off the killer until the slick detective rushes in and shoots him in the head, whew. With the danger over, the detective leans against a nearby bookshelf, triggering a secret swinging door which launches the bride of frankenstein human puzzle-woman onto the casanova! The kid falls down with the rotted sewn-up woman on top of him. a choked cry fills the theater. the kid tries to squirm out from under her dead and pieced-together weight. you can see the assembled corpse trying her best to hide a smile. Just a perfect opportunity for a freeze-frame ending... can't ask for a better one... but they don't end it there. Nope, they cut back outside to show an ambulance arriving then they have another little scene where the casanova says something about his heart finally starting to beat again. Damn, a totally lame ending; missed opportunity. They should've frozen it on the woman on top of him! But wait... under the blanket, the frankenstein girl-corpse RAISES HER HAND, GRABS CASANOVA'S CROTCH, AND SQUEEZES TILL MASSIVELY PLUMP BLOOD BALOONS POP ALL OVER HIS CRUSHED AND PULVERIZED JUNK! Casanova screams, and the frame freezes for the end. I didn't think they could possibly top the first ending but... they did. Oh man they did. That has to be one of my favorite endings... just throwing the whole concept of re-animation or zombies in the last 5 seconds just to get a gore-pleasant junk-crunch close-up. Totally unexpected, yet still exactly what I thought it would be. |
