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|05.25.06||Terror Thursday|| I guess if I really want to get technical about it this is a zombie film but... since there are fewer evil children films and they really don't look or act like zombies at all, I'm going with this genre. I guess they are turned evil by a cloud caused by nuclear waste... so they have black fingernails and anyone they hug either gets burned or melted to death... their hair and clothes aren't effected though so... I'm not really sure what their evil power is... All I know is that when they hug you, you die and look gross. They are sort of like zombies though because if you shoot them they get back up. Instead of their heads though, you have to cut off their hands with their evil black goth fingernails in order to stop them. Not just one hand; both hands.|
This is a severely crappy movie with acting so bad I can't really blame anyone for laughing at the screen. Like so many of these movies though, the end is pretty freakin rewarding, enough so to make me forgive the rest of the movie and walk away happy. This main guy... I never caught his name... treats his cigarette-smoking uber-pregnant wife so badly... screaming at her to make the damn coffee or get the ice water for his burned/melted hand faster, faster! Coupled with a clueless sheriff, they square off to see how much overacting each can do... By the time one of them dies, the other celebrates his victory by rubbing the dead man's chest with his burned melted head resting in his lap. I guess it was dawn when they shot it because they had to dissolve to the next take where the guy stops rubbing and gets up to check after his wife... the effect suggests that he spent 6 hours grieving for his sheriff friend and admiring the softness of his uniform.
Yeah, this movie is pretty bad... especially when they play the Devil Times Five trailer right before it... it really can't stand up to the awesomality of Devil Time Five... but then again, what can?